3 Questions To Ask Yourself When Battling Mom Guilt

Are you guilty of mom guilt?

Today I want to talk to all my fellow mompreneurs out there. I want you to know, I see you, and I was you!

You wear 20 different hats in one day and struggle to feel like you are doing a good job in any area. You teeter on the line of wanting to be an amazing mother, but also want to run a successful business.

Let my story be a lesson for you!

Harold and I opened our small business the same year we had our first daughter. Suddenly my love and passion for building my career was eclipsed by the birth of our child. I wanted to be with her full time but also wanted to contribute to our family.

You can’t give 100%, 100% of the time.

To facilitate my desire to stay home and still generate income, I started working from home. Not too long into this venture I started feeling inadequate, and like a failure. I believed that if I were home, I needed to give 100% of myself to my child at all times. If I stepped away to answer emails or pay bills for the company, I felt like I failed her. 

At the same time, I couldn’t contribute to work if I gave all my attention to my child. The guilt ate me alive.

My first solution was to create scheduled work time and scheduled mom time.

When I scheduled myself to work, I gave 100% of myself to work. Mom time was for me to only be mom. I learned to be okay with my kids (by now we had 2) watching a show for an hour so I could separate myself completely. 

Guess what? Some of that guilt melted away.

Verbalize your Need for Help

I often found myself frustrated at Harold for not picking up the slack when I needed to step away from the kids. The unspoken expectation was that he knew what needed to be done without being told. Don’t fall into this trap! Have conversations around what you expect your spouse to do when they are home. Speak your needs! 

Take it a step further. Ask for help! No matter how well you schedule your time, you can’t do it all! That’s not a dig against you. You aren’t meant to do it all! Delegation is a gift.

Oh and if you need to have someone come clean your home to take a task off your plate, think of the gift you are giving them. People want to help, and you rob them by not asking! 

Know your True Impact

I think our biggest fear as mompreneurs is that one day our kids will look back on their childhood and say we failed. We weren’t present, we didn’t care, or we weren’t available. I feel pretty confident saying, if you spend time worrying about how your kids will view you when they grow up to be adults, they won’t say you failed.

Show your kids how they can run a successful business, but also be a present parent. Open their minds to the possibility of accomplishing more than one thing. If you are willing to hustle for a season to build a lifestyle of freedom, that is what they will remember. Mom worked hard so she could ultimately be available. Mom was always there for me even though she ran a successful business.

That is your true impact.

I want you to take a minute and complete an exercise for me. Write down all the ways you are experiencing mom guilt. One by one address each of those reasons and ask yourself:

Is it true?

Is it helpful?

What’s the solution?

Now commit to kicking mom guilt to the curb!

Listen to our podcast episode about mom guilt here.